Have you ever been hurt? Not physically, but emotionally, in your spirit? If you are living and breathing you have been hurt. The far greater question is this: how have you dealt with that hurt? The natural, normal and very human response is to get even, and to hurt back—an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Here’s the problem: if not dealt with, that hurt degenerates into bitterness and bitterness becomes a spiritual cancer that will eat you up.

When we are hurt, our carnal, natural self is not interested in forgiveness at all, and yet that lack of forgiveness exacts a high price from us and is one of the greatest hindrances to personal revival and God’s blessings.

King David was a man deeply hurt, but he chose to forgive. Let’s look at his story and learn about one of the sweetest words—forgiveness. His story is found in 1 Samuel 24.

1. The reality is that people are going to hurt you, and often unjustifiably (verse 1ff). King Saul was after David. Remember now that it was David whose obedience and slingshot delivered Saul’s army from the hand of Goliath. Saul’s son, Jonathan, and David were best of friends all through childhood and into adulthood. The prophet Samuel had anointed Saul King of Israel. There was no justification for his anger and pursuit of David. All David had done was to love, serve and provide for Saul.

There is a story about a Sunday School teacher who had just concluded her lesson and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She asked the class, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness of sin?” After a pause, one little boy from the back of the room, spoke up, “You gotta sin!”

Out of the mouths of babes comes in-your-face truth. Sin is an inevitable part of our lives. You’re going to encounter people who will hurt you, and oft times without reason. It may be----a dad who deserted you, a mother who treated you poorly, a teacher who humiliated you, a boss who fired you, a girlfriend who jilted you, a child who rejected you, a colleague who betrayed you, a friend who slandered you, a church member who stabbed you in the back.

If you are living and breathing, the reality is that you will never escape hurt in this life. We live in a sin-wrecked, broken, fallen and imperfect world. The real question is how are you going to deal with it? How will you handle those who hurt you?

2. Whether you admit it or not, the truth is you will be tempted to hurt them in return (verse 4ff). David had the perfect opportunity to retaliate against Saul. His best friends urged him to take revenge, and it seemed reasonable and justifiable. Good and well-meaning friends gave him their advice and even used Scripture to support it. Notice verse 4, “The men said, ‘This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said, “I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.”’” You and I both know that there is something deep inside of us that wants to take revenge and hurt them like they have hurt us. The sweetest word at the time is ‘revenge.’

1 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” The NASB translates it this way, “Love…does not take into account a wrong suffered.” The Greek word here means that love does not keep a ledger of the hurt and wrong done to us. But we do, don’t we? Each one of us has a ledger book in our heart and when someone hurts us, we burn his or her name into that scorebook for future reference. There is only one reason why we keep score: we want to make people pay. You and I are incredibly prone to get even and take revenge.

There are several ways we can even the score and exact revenge. Some are aggressive like gossip and slander, criticism and condemnation, anger and harsh words, physical attacks, deliberately destroying their reputation to other people, dishonesty and stealing and lying, using our finances and influence to hurt them. There are also more subtle and more ‘Christian’ ways we take revenge that are passive: we ignore those who have hurt us acting like they don’t even exist. We sometimes take on airs of superiority, feeling proud and self-righteous with the attitude, “I sure am glad I am not like them!” Maybe we respond by simply withholding love. Keep in mind that Jesus said we are to love everyone, even our enemies.

Melvin MacDonald served in the Canadian navy during WW II. One morning the 79 year old and his wife created quite a ruckus at the police station in Winnipeg. When asked by the officer at the front desk if he could be of assistance, MacDonald replied, “I have a grenade.” This was not a threat but a simple statement of fact and with that he took out a grenade from a brown paper bag and handed to the officer. Shocked, the constable kept his cool. But he did call the bomb squad, the building was evacuated, and the fire department was alerted. In no time the bomb squad appeared in all their paraphernalia. The grenade was still primed with explosive, and its fuse was intact. His nephew thought they should turn it in. An embarrassed MacDonald explained, “I’ve had it in the house all these years. “I used to have it on a stand. I got it from a training exercise in Scotland in the 1940s.”

What live grenade is lurking around your heart and life? We bear grudges from old offenses. The resentment lingers for months, years and even decades. There is bad blood between offices or departments, maybe neighbors, maybe with someone here at church. You may be seething with anger. Bitterness is coursing through your veins. Whatever it might be, it is live a grenade dangerously capable of exploding and damaging all those around you. It is a ticking time bomb that will hurt others unless you learn to forgive. Are you keeping a ledger account about someone in particular? Are you taking out your revenge on someone, either passively or even aggressively?

3. Please know that failure to forgive hurts you more than anyone else (verse 5-7). Some of you may remember comedian Buddy Hackett. He makes an excellent point about forgiveness when he said, “I’ve had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.” As acid eats away the very container that holds it, so bitterness eats away at our spirits and hearts. When you harbor hurt, it always turns to bitterness. And don’t we very often try to deal with those hurts by saying that it doesn’t matter? But hurt always matters and it never goes away; it festers and soon spills its poison out to do its destructive damage.

Jesus told the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18. In this parable a man owed the King an amount of money he could never repay …millions of dollars. The king had mercy and forgave the man his debt. The very man then went out and found a man who owed him a few hundred dollars and demanded payment. With no mercy that man had his debtor thrown into jail for non-payment. When the king found out what had happened, he rescinded his mercy and had him delivered to the jailers until he could pay his debt. Then Jesus commented on this story by saying, “So shall my Heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart” (verse 35).

4. Failure to forgive has heavy consequences. Carrying a load of bitterness is physically demanding, emotionally exhausting, mentally tormenting, relationally isolating, and spiritually crushing. That bitterness easily becomes the source of our gossip (Prov 26:24), we assume the negative about people (Prov 17:20), and we rejoice in the fall of others (Prov 24:17-18). When Jesus taught us to pray, He said, “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Mt 6:12). God forgives like we forgive others.

David refused to carry a grudge against Saul. Though David was pursued and hounded, he was free in his heart. By contrast Saul was captive to his own hatred and bitterness. When it comes to forgiveness, be selfish and forgive because forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself!

That is exactly why the Bible teaches that forgiveness involves leaving revenge in the hands of a faithful God (verse 12, 15). David chose to leave revenge in the hands of God. He believed that God was the ultimate Judge and was big enough to take care of David. Reading the rest of the story reveals that God was indeed faithful on David’s behalf.

Forgiveness can be summed up this way: Forgiveness is my responsibility, by a choice of my will, to release a debt, by faith, to glorify God.

• It is always my responsibility to forgive (Mt 5:23-24,6:12-15).
• It is by a choice of my will. Forgiveness is not an act of my emotions, but of my will. I can choose to forgive someone who has hurt me. But you may say, “I just can’t. You don’t know what they did to me!” You are right—YOU can’t, but by God’s grace, ie God’s desire and power, you can!
• I forgive to release a debt. Forgiveness is releasing what I am holding in my heart against them. The reality is that as a Christian, I owe them the debt of love (1 Cor 13, Rom 13:8).
• I forgive by faith. Forgiveness means that I believe God that He is big enough to deal with the person who has hurt and wronged me. Instead of my being, judge and jury and executioner, I give it over the God’s judgment. “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. I will repay’ (Ro 12:19).
• Forgiveness glorifies God. As a believer, my ultimate goal is to glorify Jesus with my life. The heart of the gospel is forgiveness and therefore I am never more like God than when I forgive. If we are to be conformed into the image of Jesus, then forgiveness is a big part of that reconstruction in our lives.

The question is this: do I really believe God? When we refuse to forgive, the answer is ‘no, we don’t.’ If God is able to do all things, then He is able to take care of those who have wronged you. Instead of being miserable, forgive! Then you will be happy and free!

Let me add God’s icing to this cake. There is one more aspect about forgiveness: we are to love those who have hurt us. David not only refused to take revenge, he chose to love and honor King Saul. According to Jesus, the most astounding testimony and illustration of the fact that we are connected to Him is that unlike everyone else, we love our enemies. The God of love, who lives inside of you, is available to pour out His love through you, if you will allow it.

Is there anyone who has hurt you that you are holding something against? God has one simple word for you today, the sweetest word: forgive.

Thank You for Taking The Time to Read This Message.
May God Use These Words to Help You and Strengthen You.