Today is the final piece of our six week sermon series “Who Are You?”

Over the last 5 weeks we’ve talked about:

1. Our God-given uniqueness.

• How God makes every person individually unique through a series of 5 things – which define the SHAPE acronym – so far we’ve covered 4 of those.

2. Spiritual Gift

• A special ability, given by the Holy Spirit to believers for the purpose of serving others and building the body of Christ. (What am I gifted to do?)

3. Heart

• The special passions God has given you. (What do I love to do?)

4. Abilities

• The talents and skills that God has given you. (What do I naturally excel at?)

5. Personality

• The special way God wired you. (Where does my temperment best suit me to serve?)

And today Week #6 - we’re going to talk about “Experiences” –

• Those parts of our past, both positive and painful, which God can use.

• (What has happened in my life and what have I learned?)

I’m going to warn you, this sermon is rated.

Just like the entertainment industry rates movies (p, pg, pg-13, etc.). I’m rating this sermon an “H”.

• experiences can be wonderfully Heart-warming,

• Our life experiences can be Hard

• they can be Humiliating

• they can be Humbling

• and if we want to understand the range of experiences God has allowed in our lives, it is absolutely necessary we be “Honest”.

We may believe we our unique, we may have discovered our Spiritual Gifts, we may even know our passions, abilities and personality type. BUT the one thing that intertwines through all of these and that allows us or hinder us from using or pursuing our God-given SHAPE, is our Life Experiences. Why? Because our life experiences shape us.

Let’s first define “Experience” – what is it? What does it mean?

• Experience is the fact, or state, of having been affected by or gained knowledge through direct observation or participation.

• It is something personally encountered, undergone or lived through.

All of us operate from a sort of Personal Referral System. It's kind of a data bank of memories and experiences that we've stockpiled in your mind. Every time we see, hear or feel something we immediately attach it to some frame of reference. We ask ourselves:

• Does this agree with what I've experienced in the past?

• What I’ve encountered, what I’ve undergone,

• Does this correlate with what I know to be true?"

For instance, if I were to say to you, "High school was fun!" Some of you would begin nodding your head and saying “yes, yes”. And some of you would shake your head saying “no way”. That’s because you would attach that statement to High School experiences you’ve stockpiled in your mind.

1. If you had memorable years in High School, you’d agree with my statement.

2. If your memories of high school were unpleasant, you wouldn’t agree with what I said.

We've all had different experiences.

Let’s look at the type of experiences that shape us.

I. EXPERIENCES THAT SHAPE YOU:

1. Family and Relational experiences.

• Obviously people have tremendous influence in our lives.

1. Marriage, friendship, family. People say, "You're just like....."

2. Educational experiences – schools, seminars, training

3. Spiritual experiences -- meaningful times with God, our spiritual birth

4. Vocational experiences -- your career, your job.

5. Painful experiences – problems, hurts, trials that have cause you pain

We all have a story, different life experiences. And God doesn’t want us to ignore any of them.

• God has a personal plan for your life.

• He has uniquely designed experiences for you that are both personal and purposeful.

• Yes, even your painful experiences and those experiences beyond our control, have been filtered through God’s hand and He gives purpose to those as well.

As God slowly crafts the masterpiece of our lives, he uses all of our experiences– the painful as well as the enjoyable– to flesh out the finished product.

Not only does God have an individual plan for each of us, He has an ultimate plan for all of us – “that we would become conformed to the likeness of Jesus Christ”

In other words, making us like Christ.

• In our nature, our character, our work, our attitudes, and our priorities, we are to be like Christ.

So if God uses all of our experiences, isn’t it fair to ask “What is the purposes of those experiences?”

Notice we are not asking “why” - we are asking “what”.

• Not “why did this happen God?” We will never fully understand why.

• Isaiah 55:8 tells us “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD” KJV

We need to ask ourselves “what do you want me to learn from this?”

• Usually perspective comes after the fact rather than during the experience Today’s scripture, Romans 8:28, says - “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Some may ask what about those who seem to innocently suffer with no benefit resulting? What about the abused child, the woman who is raped, or the innocent by stander killed by a stray bullet. The victims and families suffer nothing but pain and loss. What good can come from this? What purpose can this possibly have? It is important for us to understand that this scripture is not saying “all things are good”. All things are not good. Some things are just plain evil.

• What it does say is that “in all things God works for the good” — not that all things are good, but that God causes them to work together for good.

Ultimately, we must trust God who knows the beginning from the end and sees the grand picture. He will have the final word and He will be vindicated. Remember the story of Joseph. Everything went wrong for him the first half of his life.

• He was betrayed by his own brothers as they sold him into slavery.

• He was taken to a foreign country and sold to a master.

• He was falsely accused of rape and he was put in prison.

• The first half of his life was all downhill.

• Yet, much later in life, Pharaoh appointed Joseph ruler over Egypt.

• Joseph later saw the same brothers who betrayed him and he was able to say to them -"You intended to harm me but God intended it for good." Genesis 50:20

God is at work in all things - whether good or evil - to bring about His good purpose in our lives.

Now let’s talk about His purposes.

II. GOD INTENDS THREE PURPOSES FOR OUR EXPERIENCES.

1. TO TEACH ME TO TRUST GOD

2 Corinthians 1:9 "This happened so we might learn to trust not in ourselves, but in God."

You're never going to know that God is all you need until He's all you have.

• God knows where you are, and He knows what you need.

• Trust in His sovereign hand.

• No matter what the circumstances are, He is in charge.

• God is at His best when things are at their worst.

If we love God with all of our hearts, then in the midst of the difficult situation we will turn to Him, and He will lead us through that situation. That is His sovereign promise to us. And the experience that God allows – He will use to teach us that He is trustworthy.

the second purpose God intends for our experience is…..

2. TO BUILD MY CHARACTER

You don't grow character by reading about it. You grow character by experiencing it. Romans 5:4 "We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope." The experiences that are there, God will use to teach you.

1. Integrity is learned when you do the right thing - when it would be much easier to do the wrong thing.

2. Endurance is learned when you keep on keeping on - when everything in you wants to give up.

3. Responsibility is learned when you keep your commitments - even at great personal cost because you said you'd do it.

If you wonder what the trials you experience are serving to produce in you, it is - conformity to Christ. God is molding you. He is changing you. He is working in your life. You will see that God used that hard place to build in you the character of Christ. As I reflect on what this church family has endured, over the last few months, - pain, suffering, illness and grief – times when the pain threshold was tested and endurance was stretched to the breaking point - it is obvious that many are learning perseverance, integrity, trust and many other character traits of Christ. Although hard to see, suffering actually builds character in our lives. But what about suffering we inflict on ourselves? Proverbs 20:30 "Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways." When you were growing up, how many of your parents told you "Don't touch a hot stove!" How many of you touched the hot stove anyway? How many of you told your children "Don't touch a hot stove!" How many of you had children who touched it anyway? Each generation must learn the stove is hot! Some things, the only way you learn it, is by getting burned. Some of you learned some tough lessons by getting burned.

Sometimes all the good advice in the world does not get through these skulls of ours and the only way we will learn is for God to turn up the heat. When God turns up the heat - then we change.

I know this to be true. During my rebellious teenage years, God first tried me on low heat but I ignored the temperature, so he cranked up my circumstances to medium heat until I blistered – but in my pride, I simply medicated the pain. Finally, God fired up the inferno until I was burned. It was then and only then I became the raw material he could use to mold me and shape me.

3. TO ACCOMPLISH GOD'S PURPOSE

There is a purpose in our experiences.

Let’s look at Paul.

• He was falsely taken prisoner.

• He was jailed in a dark, dungeon jail.

• He was chained to a Roman soldier.

• Yet Paul says "Whatever has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel."

• Paul was saying “Yes, it's tough on me right now but there's a greater purpose behind it.”

• What was that greater purpose?

o One, he was getting to witness to a captive audience.

o There was a guard chained to him everyday.

o When the guard was released of duty he went back to Caesar's inner palace and shared with others the things Paul had said.

o History tells us that over the years there were actually members of Caesar's own family who had become believes. Why did they become believers? Where had they heard about Christ?

o "What has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel."

There are many experiences in your life that you're not going to understand and I surely can’t explain. You're not going to know why they happen until you get on the other side of eternity.

In the meantime, there are ways we can make the most of our experiences here on earth.

III. HOW TO USE THE EXPERIENCES OF LIFE

Experience can make you bitter or it can make you better. The difference between bitter and better is the letter "I" -- I make the difference. It's your choice.

There are four steps you can take that will help you make the most of your life experiences.

1. EXAMINE YOUR EXPERIENCES

Think back over all the key experiences of your life that have shaped who you are today:

• Childhood joys and sorrows

• The pain and thrill of adolescence

• The struggle and accomplishments of adulthood.

Look behind the experience whether bad or good and ask yourself “What really happened?” The Bible says this is very important.

Galatians 3:4 "Did all your experience mean nothing at all. Surely it meant something!" Unexamined experience is wasted. Don't waste the hurt and don't waste the pain. I’m not telling you to “dwell” on it – don’t get stuck on it. Rather assess it and look for ways to learn from it.

Imagine yourself walking down a long hallway. On the walls are paintings that reflect those life-shaping moments in your life. On one side are portraits of experiences that brought you excitement, achievements and fulfillment. On the other side hang pictures of experiences that caused pain, frustration and remorse. Walking slowly down that hallway, looking carefully at each painting, is an important step toward understanding who God has created you to be and discovering the Kingdom Purpose he desires just for you. As you examine each life-event portrait, take time to think about how it has ultimately impacted you. What lessons did you glean? If you can’t see the lessons, ask God to reveal them to you. He longs to use everything in your life. Be fully transparent. Secrets only hold their power when they’re hidden. Next to each portrait, list one way that you could use this event from your past to help someone.

Celebrate your victories and claim your pain for God’s gain.

the second step you can take to make the most of your experiences….. 2. EXTRACT THE LESSONS YOU LEARNED

Look for insights. Look for principles. Look for truths. When you're going through situations you don't want to ask "Why?" but "What?" "What do you want me to learn from this?” What was it that I did wrong or that I did right? Experience is an educator. And the School of Hard Knocks is sometimes the greatest teacher.

As I reflect on the painful portraits that hang down the hallway of my life, my memory is flooded with experiences that have shaped my life.

Deut. 11:2 "Remember what you have learned about the Lord through your experiences with him." It says, Remember what you've learned about the Lord... How? How do you learn about the Lord? through the experiences with Him. God wants us to be able to see what the truth is. God wants you to grow up and mature and learn to see lessons in life.

Notice it says "Remember what you have learned..." Why does God want you to remember? So you don't keep making the same mistakes. Like the old saying goes, “those who fail to study history are doomed to repeat it.” They’ll find themselves making the same mistake over and over and over. The Bible says in Proverbs that the fool never learns from mistakes. Why? Because he's not teachable. Experience only teaches the teachable.

1. A very practical thing you can do to aid your personal spiritual growth is to keep a journal of the lessons you've learned.

2. I'm not talking about diaries. I'm talking about a simple journal of your life lessons.

3. Think through the experience and think "What did I learn from that?" and write it down so you remind yourself of what you learned.

the third step you can take to make the most of your experiences…..

3. EXPLOIT THE EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS

The average person in life learns from experience.

• I touched it and got burned.

The wise person learns from the experiences of others.

• They touched it and got burned, so I'm not going to do it!.

The fool learns from neither.

You don't have enough time in your life to learn all the lessons from personal experience. So you've got to learn from the experiences of others.

Proverbs 27:17 "People learn from one another just as iron sharpens iron." How do you learn from others? Learn to ask questions. God not only plans or allows experiences in your life but He also brings people into your life for a purpose so that you can learn from them.

• Some people will be good examples and

• Some of them will be examples that should not be followed

You need to know the difference because we learn from each other.

Proverbs 25:12 "A warning given by an experienced person to someone willing to listen is more valuable than gold." The best advice is often from somebody who has made a mistake. They've already been there. That's the value of the twelve step groups and recovery groups such a AA and NA.

Who better to help than somebody who can say, "I've been there. I know what it was like. This is how I worked through it."

The richest source of human experience is not just the people around you but the Bible. It is filled with thousands of years of stories of examples of people we can learn from. It's better than a biography because biographies don't always tell the truth – they’re slanted. But the Bible, because it's God's Word, always tells the truth. So when it talks about people it gives the good, the bad, and the ugly.

• When it tells us that David was a man after God's own heart it also says he committed adultery.

• When it says he was a great leader and writer of songs, it also tells us his family fell apart.

If you want a graduate course in life, immerse yourself in the Bible. Exploit the experiences of Abraham, Moses, David, the disciples and others by studying this book.

Always use God's word to judge experience and to learn biblical application of your experiences.

and finally the 4th step to make the most of experience…..

4. EMPLOY YOUR EXPERIENCES TO ENCOURAGE AND HELP OTHER PEOPLE.

You can use your experience to help and encourage others. If you don't use your experience what good is it?

This is very important especially in our society today. Years ago, people had a network of an extended family. We grew up in smaller towns and relatives lived close by. We had this great chain of experienced council around us - mom and dad, grandparents, aunt/uncles But that's not true anymore. We're in a fragmented society today. So we have to create a new network to provide wisdom and council.

What is that new network? The church. The Bible says that older men and women are to use their experience in life to train and encourage and help younger men and women. God doesn't expect you to have these experiences and not use them to help anybody. He wants you to employ them.

Who are you sharing your experiences with? If you've been alive more than ten years you've got some experience. Sharing our experiences helps us embrace our painful experiences as the raw material for lives of valuable service.

I have to be honest and say that I believe there is an untapped wealth of experience sitting right here in this Sanctuary. God brought us together from all different kinds of backgrounds. He's shaped us all differently. I believe that God intentionally brought you to this church family because you have something to offer Some of you have experienced deep hurt in your lives – abuse, divorce, death, depression, illness, job loss, bankruptcy, eating disorders, abortion, - and the list goes on. God wants you to use that hurt to minister to others.

The bible says - "God gives us comfort in all our trials so we in turn may be able to give the same sort of strong sympathy to others in their troubles that we receive from God. This means if we experience trouble it is for your comfort and spiritual protection."

God takes you through problems and He comforts and helps you through it (obviously -- you're still here, you're still alive) so that you can turn around and comfort and encourage others by lessons you learned, the experience you had. God wants you to help others through what you've already been through. That's called ministry. God expects you to have a ministry.

I am grateful for one who comforted me in my pain and grief. I already shared with you that 6 years ago I lost my mother on Christmas morning and then my father died just two months after that. But let me share a final piece of that trial with you. It wasn’t even 2 months after losing my father when my phone rang. I still remember my girlfriends voice on the other end of the phone saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”. She then proceeded to tell me that my best friend (of 38 years) had died suddenly. She had delivered her second child only 2 days prior. She was at the hospital with the baby and she collapsed. They could not revive her.

There are no words I can find to convey the hurt and pain I experienced that day.

My mother, my father and my dearest friend – all taken within 4 months. I sunk to the floor and clutched my knees to my chest. As I rocked back and forth I was reaching out to grab hold of something that would stop the pain – and there I found the hand of my Savior. I ran into his arms and allowed my crisis to become a catalyst for Christ. Faith and experience taught me that true comfort is found in God.

And God was faithful in bringing others into my life who shared my burden with me. God even sent one to minister to me in my grief. To this day, I thank Brenda Hallahan who used her experience of grief, through the death of her son Dustin, to comfort me in my grief. At that time she was leading a grief support group. After only 2 sessions, the group was down to a duo - me and Brenda. But she was faithful in meeting with me, just me, for as long as I needed comfort and encouragement. Through Brenda’s experience God found purpose and I found healing.

People who do not know Jesus Christ, who have not entered into a personal relationship with Him, are in a downward spiral of despair. They have no hope. They have no one to turn to. Life seems like it’s not worth living.

But for the Christian, we do not have to despair, because there is hope. We are not helpless.

We have someone on whom we can unload our problems. We have someone who cares for us.

The hope for us is not that we will escape all evil. The hope for us is that we have a God who is able, even in the midst of the most trying circumstances, show us the way through and to help us live victoriously. If we will look to what He is trying to say to us in the midst of those circumstances, we might even find that even the hardest of those circumstances are used by Him to mature us and to bring us to a place of ministry. The possibilities for your life achievements and experiences to become action steps for God are almost limitless.

Do you love the Lord with all of your heart? Because if you love God passionately, then God can work in your life. If you love God more than you love your life, if you love God more than you love your possessions, if you love God more than you love any other thing, then when God speaks to your heart, you will hear him. Where is God in your life? It’s taken me a long time, but through my life experiences, I realized I am nothing without Him.

Thru my experience of grief I came to love God more than I ever thought I could. He did become the air that I breath. Without Him I am nothing.

For six weeks we've looked at how God has SHAPE’d you.

How he’s made you unique. Why?

He didn't put forth all that effort making you unique just so you could be different.

He did it for a purpose.

He did it so you would be shaped for significance so that your life would matter.

There are people all around waiting to be ministered to. Don't waste your life. It's time to give something back.

Before our experiences – positive or painful - can be fully used by God for the benefit of others, we must let go of their hold over our lives. Until we fully yield control of our lives to God, we’ll remain stuck right where we are. You may need to go deep below the surface and think of the earnest moments and significant experiences that truly define your life story.

We all need to embrace our past experiences, both positive and painful, and allow God to use them to SHAPE us to fulfill his purpose.

Before we go to prayer, let me ask “who are you?”. Let me take it one step further “do you know who you are in Christ?” Is there something in your past that is keeping God at a distance? Do you need to release that to Christ today? Are you in pain? Do you need to ask God to help you see the bigger picture? What area in your life is God maturing and completing through the pain you are experiencing? Is there something you’ve gone through that you now want God to use for His purpose and glory?

As I pray, our altar rail is open. If you are ready to let your life proclaim his message, whether your life is marked by ease or adversity, then I invite you to kneel before your creator.

Thank You for Taking The Time to Read This Message.
May God Use These Words to Help You and Strengthen You.