Becoming a father is easy. Being a father is far more difficult. Any male can be a father, but it is someone special who is a dad. Becoming a father biologically requires very little knowledge and commitment, but to be the dad that God intends us to be is one of the most rigorous, and yet rewarding responsibilities a man could ever face. Sometime ago Paul Harvey broadcast this commentary on his radio show, “A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic. A father is a thing that growls when it feels good and laughs loud when he is scared. A father never feels quite worthy of the worship in a child’s eyes; he’s never quite the hero his daughter thinks; never quite the man his son believes him to be, and this worries him sometimes. So he works too hard to try and smooth the rough places for those of his own who will follow him. A father is a thing that gets very angry when the first school grades aren’t as good as he thinks they should be. He scolds his son even though he knows it’s really the teacher’s fault. Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough, so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody’s. Father’s make bets with insurance companies about who will live the longest. One day they lose and the bet’s paid off to the part of them that’s left behind. I don’t know where father goes when he dies. But I’ve an idea after a good rest, wherever it is he doesn’t just sit on a cloud with the girl he’s loved and the children she bore. He’ll be busy there too, repairing the stairs, oiling the gate, improving the streets, smoothing the way. Father’s Day. God bless you, dad, and I hope you can once again find a place that has real meaning in the family structure.”

The reality of the world we live in is that for some time now the roles, the values, the customs that we have accepted for centuries are now all coming loose. The encouraging news is that social scientists are re-discovering the importance of the place of dad in the life of the family and of society as a whole. But we as Christians still live in a culture that is increasingly secular and more hostile to Christian virtues and values than ever before. More than ever being a Christian father means time, teaching right priorities, love and spiritual example by modeling the Christ-like lifestyle.

To look at being a godly father, we go way back to the early history of the people of God. Before the Hebrew people had entered the Promised Land, God gave specific instructions on how to be a godly father. We see this in Deuteronomy 6:1-9.

I don’t believe there is a father or grandfather here who does not want a long, prosperous, happy and fulfilled life for his children and/or grandchildren. According to these verses the purpose of God’s laws is to cause us and our sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters to reverence the Lord by obeying all of His instructions. The promise is that if we do, then we will have long and prosperous years ahead of us.

The problem happens when we don’t obey God’s laws for our lives and our families and then have the audacity to blame God for the trouble we are in! We are like 2 small boys who stood on a suitcase and smeared peanut butter on the dining room wallpaper. When confronted with their dastardly deed, these boys blamed their Mom for putting the suitcase there in the first place.

Deuteronomy 6:4 begins at the right place—with God. He is our God and He alone. It seems to me that the vast majority of fathers who have problems is at this very point. They don’t have the God-questions settled in their own hearts and lives.

Verse 5 reveals to what extent Jehovah God is our God: “with all your heart, soul, and might.” This means that God in Jesus Christ is to be the #1 priority in your life.

Verse 6 tells us to let these laws of God permeate our lifestyle.

In verse 7 we see as fathers that we are to intentionally teach God’s laws to our children. How do we do that? By both precept and example. It is not one or the other, but both/and the other. We are to talk about the ways of God taking opportunity to teach right from wrong, to teach and read the Bible stories, and talk about God’s ways as a normal part of everyday life—not just on Sunday, or at bedtime prayers. When are we to do this? Look at the model here: at home, when we are out for a walk, at bedtime, and the first thing in the morning, and at every opportunity.

Verse 8, “Tie them, wear them, write them.” Orthodox Jews do these very thing even to this day. The principle here is that the whole of personality and the whole of the household and family life is to be inundated with God’s love and God’s ways so that they become a natural part of growing up.

The family is an integral part of God’s or His Kingdom for us as His special creation. Nowhere is this seen in a more practical way than in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians 5 and 6. In this letter Paul places family responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the men.

Guys, the best thing you can do as a father is to love your wife well. Someone has put it this way, “The best dad is a good lover.” This is what Paul was talking about when he said in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.” Charlie Shedd in his book, Promises to Peter, states, “The best thing I do for my children is to love their Mother well.”

Dads, the Bible says to love God with your whole heart, soul, mind, body and strength and to love your wife as Jesus loves us. Paul continues on into Ephesians 6:2. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” It is quite clear from the Bible that God’s design is for us as Dads to be the spiritual leader and teacher of our children. Yet how often do we cop out? And hand this job off to our wives, to the church, to the schools? How much do we allow television to teach our children? Dads, nobody can replace you. You are the best person to have the most influence and input into the lives and futures of your children. Scoutmasters, schoolteachers, coaches, George Clooney, not even youth pastors nor youth counselors can take your place. Reader’s Digest ran an article that asked, “Where Have all the Fathers Gone?” The article stated, “In his daily race to ‘succeed’ as wage earner, too many American males loose sight of the fact that they are also parents—with devastating results for their children.” It seems to me that so many teen girls today give out sexually because they are looking for a man’s love and are not finding it from their dads, but from a studdly 17 year old who is quite happy to oblige her. No one and nothing can ever be a substitute for you, dad.

In this verse Paul talks about a father’s relationship to his children and the balance that is needed between love and encouragement on one hand, and discipline on the other hand. Have you ever eaten mashed potatoes with too much salt? How about no salt? Too much or not enough salt the result is the same isn’t it? Yucky mashed potatoes. The same is true with our kids—too strict or too lenient and the result is a troubled, confused child. The Association of Mental Health echoes the Bible by saying, “Every child needs to know that there are limits to what the child is permitted to do and that the parents will hold the child to these limits.”

Dr James Dobson of Focus on the Family says that the issue is one of shaping the will without breaking the spirit. The words that Paul uses in verse 4 carry with them the broader meaning of “educate, train, instruct.” Discipline is far more than spanking or sending your child to his/her room. Discipline is the entire process of training and caring for the physical, mental, moral and spiritual well-being of your children.

In this verse Paul is plugging into Deuteronomy 6 when he instructs fathers to “bring up your children in the admonition of the Lord.” What happens here is that children see their father as God’s representative on earth. Knowing this makes our job as dads a very sacred and holy matter, not to be taken lightly. This means that we dads are to treat our kids as God treats us!

Several years ago a group of Christians was trying to reach the ghetto kids of Chicago for Jesus. One of the ways of doing this was to give the kids a New Testament written in ‘street language.” They were doing well in paraphrasing God’s Word into language these kids could understand until they came to the concept of God as a loving father. The ghetto kids had no understanding of a father as loving. To them “father” was the man who spent the weekend with Mom, or the live-in boyfriend, or the different men who slept with mom every night.

Dads, whatever you want your children to be you must first be that kind of person. Your daughter will learn how to judge a boyfriend by what she has seen and learned about her daddy. Your son will learn how to respect and treat a wife by watching and learning from your words and actions how you treat your wife. Your children will learn the importance of worship and a personal relationship with Jesus from your worship and relationship with Jesus (far more than from their moms, by the way)! Dads, your children will learn most from your example and from the atmosphere and tone you set in your home day in and day out. They will come to understand God’s love, mercy, justice, forgiveness, and acceptance in Jesus to the extent they see that lived out in your live at home.

Real fatherhood takes all you have—plus guidance and strength that each of us needs from our relationship with our loving heavenly dad.

Joshua stood before the congregation of Israel and declared with determination and strength, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Can you say with Joshua on this Father’s Day, “As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord?”

Thank You for Taking The Time to Read This Message.
May God Use These Words to Help You and Strengthen You.