Grinch #3 - Enlarging My Heart
Developing A Patient Heart
Dec 14, 2008
This Christmas we are talking about enlarging our hearts from 2 sizes too small to 2 sizes larger than normal. In the end the Grinch was a changed Grinch because his heart had grown larger.
The underlying theme verse is Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.” The heart is the seat of all you are and do. It is the very center of your being! Out of the heart flows either evil or good. It is the old GIGO truth—garbage in, garbage out. What you put into your heart is what comes out of your heart, so “above all else, guard your heart because it influences everything you do and is the wellspring of your life.”
We began our Grinch series talking about developing a pure heart and then last week we looked at developing a passionate heart for God’s presence, God’s people and God’s plan. Now we are going to focus on developing a patient heart. How many need more patience? What is it that makes you impatient? Standing in lines, waiting on hold, stupid people? Careless drivers? What is your personal pet peeve?
All of us have some issues with patience. As we look into God’s Word we discover that God wants to enlarge our hearts by being patient. St. Augustine once wrote, “Patience is the companion of wisdom.” Someone anonymous has said, “Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can, seldom found in woman and never found in man.”
What does it mean to have a patient heart? We are going to look at some ways God enlarges our hearts through becoming more patient. A good definition of a patient heart is this: a patient heart is simply trusting in God’s timing. Impatience is basically not getting what we want when we want it. Impatience involves worry and anxiety, fretting and being irritable, and, of course, anger and bitterness. But a patient heart is a heart that learns to trust God’s plan. God uses hard times to not only test our mettle, but to develop patience in us. That is what James is talking about in our Scripture when he says that “trials of many kinds tests our faith and that testing develops patience and perseverance...so that you may be mature, i.e. have an enlarged heart.” The Message Bible puts it this way, “You know that under pressure your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” (James 1:3) Times of testing and times of trial more than any thing else reveals much about the size and condition of your heart. It is during those times that God is teaching us to trust Him and enlarging our hearts by teaching us patience. There are 3 areas that we are going to be looking at when God is at work teaching us patience and thereby enlarging or hearts.
I. The first area that God teaches us patience is when we are… growing in our faith and Christian walk. We are not called to remain born-again spiritual babies. We are called to grow up as James says, “to be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Now sometimes people who get turned on to Jesus get impatient with themselves. Somehow they expect that overnight they will be these walking and talking Bible Wikipedias and commentaries, being able to spit out every Bible verse, knowing all truth, handling every temptation, and being in control of every thought and emotion. You get impatient because you are not growing as fast and you think you should be. James 1:4 reminds us, “Perseverance must finish its work….” And that takes time. A brilliant diamond isn’t formed in a matter of hours or even days, but only after eons of time. Have you ever been pregnant? [Can’t say as I have!] But it takes time for that baby to develop in the womb. It doesn’t happen overnight. Did you know that a rat takes only 21 days to be born? The next time you get impatient with your spiritual growth, just remember that God is not making you into a rat. Arnold Glasgow said, “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by waiting for the egg to hatch, not by smashing it.” Romans 5:3-4 reads, “Troubles produce patience, and patience produces character, and character produces hope.” Please notice that a patient heart is a crucial element of our character. Guard your heart!
So, what to do? Surrender to God’s timing. Say something like, “Okay, God I know you are in this and I am not going to fight against you. I am going to recognize that you need time to perfect me in your image. I don’t want to run ahead nor lag behind but walk right beside you. Help me to trust you and your timing in my life.”
Two quick tips: don’t stop and be passive but keep moving in the right direction. God is not interested with how fast you go, but in what direction you are moving. Also, don’t focus on how far you have to go, as that can get discouraging; rather focus on how far you have come. Ephesians 4:14, “Instead, speaking the truth in love we will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ.” That takes a patient heart.
II. We need a patient heart when we are dealing with difficult people. Difficult people are everywhere and yes even in church. Did you know that 1 out of 3 people are difficult? If the people seated on either side of you are not difficult people then that means that you are it! Dealing with difficult people brings out what is really in our hearts. Some times we don’t respond very well with difficult people, do we? The Bible says in Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds back.” Some of you know and have heard Barbara Johnson. Here is what she has said, “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.”
What to do? Bite your tongue and vent up to God instead of venting to other people. This is the most important way to endure difficult people. Others are watching you, and what a tremendous witness you are when you can handle difficult people with grace and patience. They will say, “Wow…. they have something I don’t have. I wish I could be like them.”
So, vent up to God. But Jesus wants us to go beyond enduring difficult people. As Christ-followers we are called to love difficult people. Now I have gone to far haven’t I? What would Jesus do? Jesus said, (Mt 5:44), “Love your enemies. Do good to those who curse you.” Let them bring out the best that is in you, not the worst. Jesus goes on to say that those who love their friends are not a ‘big whoppee’ because even the evil people do that. If you want to be a cut above the crowd, to be extraordinary, to have a patient and enlarged heart, then learn to love the most difficult people. If God can love you unconditionally with all your faults, failures, foibles and fallacies then we are to love difficult people and we can only do that by God’s grace and strength. It begins with a pure heart, moves to a passionate heart for God’s people and then we are able to experience a patient heart even with the most difficult of people. Hear again James’ words, “the testing of your faith develops perseverance (and patience).”
III. We need a patient heart when we experience a loss. Unfortunately loss is a part of the human experience whether that loss is a death of a loved one, the loss of a job and career, the loss of our health, or friends, a marriage. Maybe you have experienced a loss of a dream. Losses can be quite devastating to people and some never really get over their loss. It scars them for life, influences their decisions, mindset, moods, and future orientation. Many of us today bear the scars of some loss that we experienced in childhood. As we approach Christmas the most difficult loss we feel is that of a loved one. There’s just something about Christmas that makes our loss more profound and poignant.
At no other time do you find out more about yourself, your faith, and what is going on in the inside of you than when you go through a difficult loss in your life. And more than anything, that loss reveals what you are made of. It is then that you need a patient heart more than any other time. One antidote for life’s losses is the knowledge of God’s purposes in it all. Paul informs us in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Please note that this verse doesn’t say that God causes every problem in your life, nor does God cause the losses you experience. God didn’t cause 9/11 or cancer or that auto accident or that random shooting. What this verse is saying is that God will not be defeated by what happens to us in this world. It is saying that He redeems even the garbage that life throws at us and gives it a purpose. The Bible tells us that God is at work in every circumstance and situation in our lives for some greater purpose. Whether it is a lost relationship, a lost dream, the death of a loved one God is at work. He is at work to bring new life, new hope, and new opportunity out of those very losses. Is it fun and exciting? Not at all. It is hard, difficult and often gut wrenching, and all this develops a patient heart ready to receive the new relationships, the new dreams, the new opportunities that He has prepared for us.
Let’s get even more practical here. Developing a patient heart during a loss is a 3-step process. Here it is—weep and mourn, wait and watch, connect and do.
First weep and mourn. This is raw emotion and is a God-given way to get the pain of your loss out. One of the greatest verses in all the Bible is this: ‘Jesus wept.’ At the tomb of his good friend Lazarus, Jesus showed real emotion at His personal loss and He wept real tears of deep loss. You cannot deny your emotions. It is okay to cry, to feel hurt, to be angry and frustration. Don’t deny those emotions, rather confess and admit those feelings. Suppressing them is unhealthy both emotionally and physically. Instead of suppressing and denying them, surrender them to God’s loving care. He understands. He really does.
From the weeping and mourning, we need to move on to the next step, which is waiting and watching. This is probably the hardest step. This takes the most patience and strength and you can’t skip this part. This waiting does 2 things: it both reveals your character and it strengthens your character as per the Apostle James. The waiting and watching period takes time, and there is truth is the old saying that time heals all wounds. I would add a caveat to that: if we let it. You can hold onto the pain and the wounds of your loss for your entire life and never get over it. We will be talking about this beginning in January with a series “Healing for Damaged Emotions.” Waiting helps to give ourselves perspective about our loss and the longer we wait the easier it is to be more circumspect about our loss and we can watch how God brings healing and His will to bear in and through our loss.
The temptation at this point is to allow our emotions to take control of our minds and we never get passed the first two stages. We are simply going to wallow through life in our weeping and out waiting and in effect disengage from life, to pull away from friends, God, and church. They don’t allow themselves to have any fun or laughter. The very things that they need to most, they pull away from. I have seen it time and time again. They are angry over their loss and they blame God and quit God. What they need is a deeper connection to God and to pray their anger. Read through the Psalms and you will see what I am saying because it is a book full of human emotion. Don’t pull away from church, get even more connected. You won’t feel like it, but a patient heart allows the mind to control the emotions. You need healthy relationships in your life. You need people who will comfort you, encourage you, hold you up, share your pain and burdens, motivate you and help you deal with your loss. Going it alone is a clear recipe for disaster.
The 3rd step is equally important and that is to get connected and do. That is why I encourage you to get connected to a small group so that when losses come you have a built in support group to uphold you. Those who are connected to a small group survive their losses far better. Those who aren’t connected, either do not survive or it is a much more difficult journey. Get yourself out of the house and get involved with a ministry. The best way to get beyond your loss is to help someone who is going through his or her own loss. It takes your focus from yourself and puts it on them and healing happens.
God works everything in your life for good so go ahead: weep and mourn, wait and watch, and connect and do. Your heart will definitely be a more enlarged and more patient heart.
There are many ways that God develops patient hearts within us and we have only focused on 3 ways. Remember, when you are growing in your faith, surrender to God’s timing. When you are dealing with difficult people, vent up to God and love them seeing them as God sees them. And finally when you are experiencing a loss, weep and wait and connect with people.
Paul writes in Galatians 6:9, “So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.” This Christmas let’s give the nasty Grinch the boot and enlarge our hearts as we develop patience.